Thursday- Men and Women

I received this long time ago in an e-mail. Find my comments in brackets :-)


1. NAMES

If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

(Lol! Heard of Billi, Bum and Blaby?)


2. EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20 , even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

(Er...sometimes yeah...they actually do.)


3. MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

(Heck no! Not me at least!)


4. BATHROOMS

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

( 337?! )


5. ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

( :-) )


6. CATS

Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

(If this is true, I'm kicking that guy back!)




7. FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

(Yeah...he worries about the future cuz it also concerns her. It's a nice thing that man does, come on!)


8. SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

(money money)


9. MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

(Oh no...I sure hope this doesn't hold good for me!)


10. DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

(lol...I sure know the other way round kinda people on both sides!)


11. NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

(no way....)


12. OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dream

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

(Finally....something nice about us!)