Saturday, June 21, 2008

MY brother..forever!

As a child there were them times
I didn't get it but you kept me in line
I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes
It's something more than saying "I miss you"
But when we talked too
All them grown folk things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show because
You loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today face to face

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
"I wish I could find a way try not to cry"
As time goes by
And soon as you reach a better place
Still I'll give the whole world to see your face
And I'm right here next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do is say bye bye

And you never got the chance to see how good I've done
And you never got to see me back at number one
I wish that you were here to celebrate together
I wish that we could spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to tuck me in at night
With the Teddy Bear you gave to me that I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
That you can make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever


I dunno if Mariah Carey knew my lil devil or my lost bro, but this song could be a dedication from her to him. I'm proud of my brother. எங்க அண்ணனை கண்ணால கூட பார்க்காம, இவ்ளோ பேர் கண்ணீர் சிந்துனாங்க னா, இறப்பு கூட இனிமையானது, சாவும் கூட ஒரு சாதனை தான். He is a great soul, and his new journey would just be his next adventure. But what his adventures are, this time we'll never get to know, because they will be his little secret with someone, who some people might refer to as, God.
Now, my inbox is empty. I get a few forwards, and occasionally someone sending/asking for something academically. Otherwise all those e-mails which contained 'ada-paavi ada-paavi' and ways to irritate my lil devil will never fill my inbox with a smile again.
I will not be able to pour my heart out about me missing people, me wanting to have a brother to fight and argue and do what not with. There will be no mentions about preparing for college by "
jus upgraded ma laptop... bought a few new formal wear.. two sexy nike backpacks.... a couple of blazers fa presentations n a puma runner." Nobody will ever again say, "i could c ow weak n puny u looked.... so TAKE CARE..... u may be the worlds best roamer but whn ur big bro says keep it within limits he means it from mind n soul.." . Or a MILLION other things. My lil devil thinks she is unlucky, but she's known him, she's got all the love in the world from him. She is the most luckiest person ever. "I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh. But I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry." I don't know who said this, but I just figured it is true in most occasions. He is making me cry, and I wanna fight with him for that. For making me cry, and for making my lil devil upset. I dunno how long it will be before I see him and fight with him, but, that day is not far off. Is never far off.